I was telling Jen that ever since Mama died all relatively happy moments that happened after her death didn’t feel quite as happy anymore. It’s like life lost a little bit of its shine.

Losing a parent has a way of stripping the joy out of the things you once loved. It’s as if any sacrifice you make just isn’t as fulfilling anymore. The world feels flat and stale, like a limit has been set on the amount of happiness my body and my mind are allowed to experience.

But I was telling Jen that her being here and us working on pixelzero seems to be the antidote.

One of the things that I think makes life unbearable is when I have a problem and I don’t do anything about it. And with my mom’s death it became very obvious that the problem is money. Now, I just don’t need enough money, I need loads of it. It sounds so arrogant to say but the reality is we weren’t able to save Mama because we didn’t have enough cash and if I spend my days knowing I’m not doing anything to be at the top echelons of wealth I will hate myself and hate my life.